Return to Innocence
by headless-nic
Summary: What happens after Snape disappeares into the forrest? Where does he go and what happens to him? Just a story about what might have been and might be.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:** What happens after Snape flees into the Forrest? Is there still somebody who trusts him or does he stand alone? And how will Voldemort react after the only wizzard he'd ever feared is gone?

**Disclaimer:** None of the characters belongs to me apart from Sibylla Bartholdy and Mary who will appear in later chapters. All the others, wonderfully created characters of course still belong to JKR and I quite envy her for that…

Oh, and of course I have borrowed the title from Enigma, sorry about that, too.

**A/N: **This is my first fanfic in English and the first one actually published on this site, so please don't judge to hard. Still honest reviews are always welcome.

As well, this chapter is not beta – read if somebody fancys beta – ing this story I would appreciate it, my English is kind of crap – especially when it comes to grammar…

Meanwhile I hope you enjoy the story. Love Nic

**Return to Innocence**

**Prologue**

I had done it, I had killed Dumbledore. I looked at the spot where he had fallen off the tower and could not actually believe what had just happened.

When I came running up the stairs just minutes ago I had expected the worst, but it was even worse. Albus Dumbledore stood there cornered by Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter hiding under his invisibility cloak standing closest to the door petrified by Dumbledore and thus helpless.What I had feared since I entered the unbreakeable vow with Narzissa was now reality. Of course Draco could not kill the headmaster, he was not cold and unfeeling like Lucius, he just did not know it himself. Pompous as he was he considered himself a real thread to the wizzarding world. Idiot! Being an arsehole does not automatically make you a Death Eater, Draco was just finding out the hard way. – And now I had to finish what he had started. Dumbledore reminded me at that point, that I had made a promise to him and that I better keep it. I had begged him not to make me do it, but he did not budge. He had even pleaded with me: "Please, Severus…" It sounded so pittyable and made it even more difficult. Potter surely thought the headmaster was pleading for his life. – He did not, he pleaded for ours, Harry's and mine. I had no choise really, with Draco standing next to me watching every move I made and with Albus Dumbledore in front of me asking for what I had promised to him. At last I raised my wand and killed him. Draco's face had shown some kind of admiration and it made me sick. I turned around and made it down the stairs hearing Potter scream murder.

I ran as fast as I could through the corridors. Everywhere was fighting going on. A bonus as no one really paid attention to me. I ran towards the main entrance, blasted the doors open and rushed across the dark school grounds. I had almost reached the outskirts of the Forbidden Forrest when Potter closed up on me. A curse just closely missed me. I turned around just in time to block another one and started to send a few hexes back at Harry. They missed all by several inches – exactly as I had wanted them to, but they bought me time, that and the Death Eaters running out of the castle setting poor Hagrids hut on fire. In that split second that my mind was distracted I was thrown back and in the pale moonlight I could see a talon flash as it came down on me. Buckbeak had appeared out of no-where and almost overpowered me. I managed to cast a desperate spell to get him of me, picked myself off the ground and escaped the beast.

Panting for air and bleeding I finally made it out of the Hogwarts school grounds, Draco hard on my heels. I could have waited for him, but I did not want to see the boy whose stupidity and arrogance had cost me my only true friend. I apparated into my house at Spinners End to clean myself up and to find a solution as to what to do now. Pouring a glass of firewhisky on my way through the dusty and hostile lounge I climbed up the stairs exhausted and made it into the even grimier bathroom. Well at least Wormtail was not here anymore to torture my already troubled mind with some stupid remarks that he might consider helpful when it came to making me feel even worse. I switched on the light and sighed once again. To be honest I had looked worse on occasion but I felt as if I was acctualy getting too old for this. I opened the little mirrored cupboard over the sink and took out the cotton pads. Dipping one of them into the firewhisky I began to clean up the cut that Buckbeak had given me. It burned horribly but then again I had worse, much worse.

Now that the slash was clean I could look at it more closely and even though it was not that bad of an injury I decided that a couple of stitches would actully be a good idea. Normally, of course, some simple magic would have done, but considering my inner tumoil I did not seriously consider this possibility. I changed clothes and made my way to the local hospital.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Still not mine not the characters and not the title. Sigh!

**Return to Innocence**

**Chapter 1**

After getting myself stiched up I walked back to Spinners End the fresh morning air clearing my thoughts.

Albus Dumbledore was dead!

I had killed him!

I knew that Dumbledore had records that proofed my innocence but it would not help me now, the records would just be availabe when the war was over and won. Till then I was an outcast and on the run.

And nothing would bring back my friend.

I was just brewing myself a cup of coffee when my Dark Mark started to burn. Sighing I abandoned my mug, dressed up and apparated into Voldemorts lair.

Not many Death Eaters were around, just a few novices who apparently where here to learn a lesson or two as to why it was better to follow Voldemorts every order.

"Severus…" the dark Lors voice trailed off.

I steppd closer and kneeled down in front of him awaiting whatever he had in store for me.

"You have done me a great favour!" he smiled his horrible, malevolent smile.

"BUT IT WAS NOT YOUR TASK!" he thundered rage filling his eyes.

"You will be punished for it…" His smile grew even more ugly.

"Draco, come here." My insides churned.

"This man stole your privelege to kill the old fool that called himself the headmaster of Hogwarts, so you will have the right to punish him… - in front of all of us."

Draco Malfoy looked almost fragile as he stood there in his Death Eater robes amongst the others. Stepping quickly forward to obey he reached for his wand, his face pale as death and his whole frame shaking.

"Cru… Crucio!" He attempted. But with no real want behind the spell it did not work.

"Draco… are you playing with him or are you just weak?" Voldemort equired his eyes gleaming amused at the obvious fear in the boys face. Oh how he must enjoy this game.

Weak had always been a word that would make Draco livid he turned around to face me again and this time the spell worked.

"Crucio!" he yelled enraged that someone thought he might be weak and to proof the contrary. I screamed out in pain. It was as if I was skinned alive while somebody was covering my skinless body with salt and sand, slowly rubbing it deep into my flesh. My insides burned as if somebody was forcing boiling oil into every opening of my body. I could not breathe anymore, but just when it became too unbeareable the curse ceased.

"Well done, well done!" chuckled Voldemort in an perverted immitation of Dumbledore. Then his face grew stern again.

"But perhaps you need more training, Draco. Perhaps you don't know how a real Cruciatus has to feel? Well, I'll show you. CRUCIO!"

Now it was Draco's turn. He had disappointed the Dark Lord, now he was suffering for it. I watched in horror as my former pupil was beeing tortured and picked myself off the floor wincing with every move I made. My wound was bleeding again.

"So now that you know how it has to feel PRACTISE!" Voldemort ordered, his voice thundering through the empty hall. Draco turned back to me but the Dark Lord stopped him before he could raise his wand.

"No Draco, not him, I have found a nice little training object for you," he pointed his wand at the door at the far end of the room and it swung open. Two more Death Eaters – one of them I recognised as Bellatrix Lestrange - stalked into the chamber inbetween them a little girl wearing nothing but a night shirt and fluffy slippers. She looked extremely out of place and extremely scared. I could see Draco swallow but he did not hesitate. He raised his wand and "practised". Years of anti – muggle upbringing paid out, he probably told himself she was no real human being but some kind of vermin deserving to be destroyed. How proud Lucius would be of his son could he see him now!

_This has to end! _My mind yelled at me. _Voldemort has to end!_

I had to work out a way to still help the Order no matter what they might think of me. I simply had to find a way! Albus would expect me to. I could not let him down.

I don't know how long this grisely show lasted but it was too long in any case. After a while Voldemort seemed to get bored, he left with a satisfied smirk on his face and Draco stopped. His aunt was, of course, extremely pleased and leaving the injured and crying child in the middle of the dirty, old stone floor she as well as her companion and the few novice Death Eaters accompanied now by a rather smug looking Draco left the dark room. In the end it was just me and the little one left.

"Are you okay? Can you speak?" She just cried. I took off my outer robe, wrapped her into it and picked her up.

"We need to go to find a doctor." I told her. She did not respond just stared at some space somewhere inside her. I could imagine what was going on inside her, how she felt right now and cradled her like a mother would have a new born.

I held her really tight and apparated together with her. I knew I must be completely out of my mind to take her on, but there was no way I could leave this child dying in some run down house in the middle of no – where.

I looked around. It was getting dark again. The street I had aparated into was narrow and very quiet but so sheltered with trees, shrubs and garden fences that I never needed to worry about anybody seeing me appear out of thin air. I looked left and right, let a car pass by and crossed the street walking towards a plain white house with a friendly bright blue door. A simple brass sign read: Dr. T. Snape.

My father was a paedeatrician, he would know what to do. I knocked and just seconds later the door opened.

"Severus! What the hell has happened to you?" He took the little girl out of my arms and frowned. I could see that he understood just too well.

"Not them again! Don't tell me they are back!"

I nodded in response..

"The Dark Lord returned about two years ago but has kept quiet since last summer. I have been spying ever since, but now Dumbledore is dead and … - Dad I had to kill him..."

I felt like sobbing and still managed to sound as impassive and unfeelng as ever. Still I knew that my father knew me too well than to be fooled by my mask of cold indifference.

"Well, later, there are more important things to do at the moment."

Tobias was right. Later would be enough time to tell the whole story for now something else was much more urgent. He carried the child towards his practise rooms and put her carefully down onto a stretcher. The girl was still in a catatonic state, not taking anything in that was around her. Tobias checked her up, frowning more and more about the cruelty that this kid had experienced.

"No apparent injuries, but I'll give her some pain killers and something to sleep. She needs rest now. – Do you know where to find her parents?"

I shook my head, picking up one of the stuffed toys sitting on the window sill, helping children through their check ups and gave it to the little one. She clutched it as if it where essential for survival and for the first time she looked at me. – She was, weirdly enough not scared of me, nor, much less surprising, my dad and relief flooded over me. If she could learn to trust us, there was a good chance she would recover. And an even better chance to return her to her parents.

When she was finally asleep we sat down in my fathers living room. The Radio was still playing from before he had opened the door for me and a book lay face down on the coffee table. Funnily enough it was a potions book. Muggle or not, Tobias certainly was open minded and interested in a lot of things.

"So pray, tell me what happened."

Since I had met my father some 18 years or so ago for the first time after my mother had left him I had grown very close to the man that was supposed to be a looser and pathetic muggle as my mother had drummed into my brain all through my childhood and teenager years.

He was nothing of the kind.

He was kind, caring and even though he had married again and was now a widower he still had cared for my mum till she had died a couple of years ago, been actually with her when she took her last breath. If he had been part of my life all along, I was certain I never would have stooped as low as I had done.

"Death Eaters ransacked Hogwarts last night and I had to kill Dumbledore in order to save Harry Potter and myself. I had promised Albus earlier this year to follow his orders no matter what they might be – he ordered me to kill him. Well not vocally but via occlumency, so no – one can actually vouch for that for the time being. There are records though proving my "innocence", Dumbledore said so much, but they will not be released until the war is over, till then I am on the run and till then I have to find a way to destroy You – Know – Who."

Tobias nodded, got up and poured two whiskey – a single for himself and a double for me. To react that calm when hearing a story like this was one of my fathers greatest gifts. I admired him for it as well.

"Here, you need that. You've just lost a friend, endured torture and you have a problem to solve.When you have emptied your glass I take care of your cut."

I had completely forgotten about my own injury. I reached up with one hand and felt my cheek, blood was still tickling slowly down my face and neck and soaked my collar. With the other hand I gratefully took the glass of whiskey he was offering me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** Apart from Sibylla Bartholdy none of the characters belong to me. It's all J.K. Rowlings.

**Return to Innocence**

**Chapter 2**

Minerva McGonnegall's eyes were red rimmed from crying.

The death of Albus Dumbledore had left her drained of all energy. – Now that she needed all her strength she had none left.

On the desk in front of her lay a note. A memory note to be exact. It was the memory recorded during Albus' last moments.

It was weirdly comforting to see how he had died. – A hero.

He had not suffered either, it was a clean Avada Kedavra. No poison slowly destroing his already ragged body, no torture, just simple, lain and uneviteable death.

She wiped her eyes once again and once again saw through his memory.

It was not his fault.

It was not Severus' fault.

He had acted on order hating himself for what he was doing and hating Dumbledore for making him do it. He killed the old headmaster but he was forced to.

She herself had made the same promise to Albus as Snape had, she had promised to follow his orders blindly. She could have been in his shoes, and so could have Harry. They all had sworn to Albus to do whatever he asked them to and if it was killing him. Now Severus was on the run for something he was forced to do in order to save the day – and Harry Potter and nobody was supposed to know about it.

She could not just go and tell everybody:

"Well, Severus Snape has promised Albus to kill him and there is no reason to try and catch him, he is no murderer…"

It would help Severus for the moment, sure, but in the long run it would be the downfall of the Order of the Phoenix – and himself. A lot of people would disagree but some time in Azkaban simply had to be prefereable over losing ones life in an unimaginable way through Voldemorts hands. Surely!

_If it was just some time in Azkaba, we're talking about and not he Dementors Kiss…_ shot through the headmistresses head.

Severus however had no choice in it whatsoever.

It was so unfair!

She paced up and down her office – the office that just a day ago had still been Albus Dumbledores and sighed. She had to do something – first and for all she had to find Severus Snape and make sure he was safe then she had to re – secure the school. Bending into the fire she threw some floo powder into the flames and stated her destination:

"Ivy Cottage!"

Even though it was the dead of the night the house owner was not asleep.

Sibylla Bartholdy was sitting in front of the fire, a cup of tea next to her on the armrest of the extremely comfortable looking armchair where she sat reading a book. She did not seem to be surprised to see the head of her former Head of House in the flames of her fire place.

"I saw the candle going out around midnight."

She said simply and got up.

"I'll be there in a minute."

Sibylla grabbed her cloak that lay conveniently next to her on the other armrest not occupied by her teacup and followed the older woman into the fire.

Seconds later they both hugged each other trying to give comfort as good as they could.

"Bylla, why is life this unfair?" the elder asked the younger sobbing now more than ever.

"I don't know." Was the plain answer.

"You have to find Severus Snape. He is out there all alone and they try to hunt him down. The Aurors have left about half an hour ago to search for him, let's just hope they have not found him yet. True, he killed Albus, but it was not his decision, Albus made him do it. He needs help. – We need help!"

"I'll find him."

She let go of her former mentor and turned back to the fireplace.

"I'll be back as soon as I've found him and make sure he is safe."

As soon as she had returned to her home she began to sob incontrollably herself. She had hoped to the last that it was a false sign when the flame had flickered and gone out, but now she could not ignore the truth any longer.

Albus Dumbledore was dead.

Still her former teacher did not need to see her own despair when she much rather needed somebody to calm her down and built her up. Merlin, her cat, came over from it's favourite place to comfort her, but she'd rather be alone, yet she had a mission to complete.

She had to find Severus Snape.

Was she angry with him for killing Dumbledore? – No she wasn't she was rather grateful that she had not been in his shoes. What must he be going through at this very moment?

Outside the morning dawned and she had to get going. She apparated to Spinners End, where she knew Snape kept a flat – Albus had informed her about that just a few weeks ago in case she needed to know, clairvoyant as ever.

Severus Snape wasn't there, though. Fortunately!

Then she had just turned to leave and walked a few yards down the side walk to find a suitable spot to apparate without been seen by anybody around when several Aurors appeared out of no – where closing in on the shabby, run down house. Roundig the next available corner she hid to watch their search. They aparrently tore the whole house apart, but to no avail, Severus Snape was gone and they had wasted all their energy on a random and fruitless search.

She also knew that this was now one of the safest places to stay for him - well at least for a week or so till they searched the house once again. The ministry never thought very far when it came to criminals. And said criminals where perfectly happy about that.

She decided to check on the house again later having a bad feeling about where he might be at the moment.

She actually did not think he was somewhere near here or hiding out in another place, most likely at this very moment he was facing Voldemort.

– Well he had killed You – Know – Who's greatest enemy that needed some response from the "Dark Lord", didn't it?

But just to make sure that he was in none of the other fairly likely places that Albus had listed up for her Sibylla Bartholdy continued her search.

His late mothers cottage, that was actually more like a ruin than a home, had already been searched by the Aurors (_they must have gotten up very early...)_

His fathers place, an option that most people did not consider worth an investigation due to the fact that Tobias Snape was a muggle (_muggle and Death Eater does not exactly go well together…)_ looked peaceful and tranquil with no apparent sign of any kind magic around, just a couple of concerned parents bringing their children to the doctor. Definitely no Severus Snape.

Changing into something more ragged and packing her sneakoskope into one of her pockets she made her way through some definately dark pubs in Knockturn Alley where no sane Auror would stick his head in (_meaning that she must obviously be insane_) and last but not least the Shrieking Shag that had been a hide out for more than one blackard (_or friendly werewolf for that matter…)._

No Snape though in any of the places.

Now all she could do was to wait and keep her eyes and ears open. She decided that Spinners End would be the most likely place for him to return to and be it just to pick up some of his necessities, potions, clothes, money, whatever. She entered the dark hallway, walked into the thoroughly destroeyd living room and sat down on the battered remains of what till this morning had been a couch, waiting.

She waited all afternoon, all evening and all night, still nothing happened. In the end , short before midnight she lit a fire in the grate and went to report to Minerva, the old witch did not deserve to wait for news any longer. – Even though she actually had none. Neither good nor bad.

She popped her head into the fireplace just like Minerva had done the night before and called for her destination:

"Hogwarts, Headmistress Office!"

Seconds later her head popped out and revealed an exhausted witch standing by the window, desperate for information.

"Sibylla, where is he, have you found him yet? I know the Aurorshave not caught him, Nymphadora Tonks has left my office just ten minutes ago."

"Minerva, he is not here, nor is he anywhere else. I have been looking for him the whole day long but I have no idea where he might be, perhaps You – Know – Who has him. Anyway I'll stay here and wait. At some point he might return. If he doesn' not show here up by lunch time I'll do another search round and if nothing is changed tomorrow at this time I'll join."

McGonnegalls face went deathly pale and she grabbed the next best thing availeable as if else she would fall over and swallowed hard but she did not say a word, knowing that it would be wasted on Sibylla Bartholdy. And even if it would have made a difference the young witch had already disappeared and left her once again alone in her new office.

It was quite late in the morning when Sibylla after a long, restless, uncomfortable night finally heard the key turn in the lock and somebody coming in. She got up and hid in the darkest possible corner of Snapes sitting room. Just in case. In the dimm light of the open entrance door Snape looked around frowning at the mess the Aurors had left and gave a relieved sigh that they had been here already.

He looked battered and exausted. His face was whiter than usually, his eyes where dark rimmed from lack of sleep and he looked positively gaunt. It was obvious that he had been tortured during the last 24 hours (_"In more than one way_,_"_ she thought)– and that somebody had taken care of him in the meantime fairly well.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** Nothing belongs to me. Just Sibylla, Mary and the plot…

**A/N:** Sorry, I know this story starts fairly weird and pretty slow repeating and repeating thatDumbledore is dead and so on but hey, there are people who loved good old Albus, surely they would mourn for quite some time, wouldn't they? And yes I know I am not really getting any further timewise at the moment but that is because I've split up one chapter into three so that nobody would get even more confused when I change between Severus' POVand somebody elses (written from an outside view).Well after this chapter the story will fasten up a bit... Love Nic

**Return to Innocence**

****

**Chapter 3**

After a good night of sleep one is normally supposed to feel better, but this did not apply to me. It was as if I could feel every single bone in my body. Tobias and I had been talking through half the night, till I finally was overcome by exhaustion due to lack of sleep. After all I had been awake for almost 48 hours straight and quite eventful 48 hours at that. But still it was good to have it all off my chest, even though we did not actually find a solution for my problems.

When I came down into the kitchen my father was already sitting at the table the little girl next to him sipping shyly on a cup of hot chocolate. She looked better than the day before but still scared half to death. I longed to manipulate her memory erase what had been done to her but I knew it would be worse in the long run than to simply let her get over it.

We had agreed that she should stay with my father till I had found out what became of her parents and could eventually bring her back. – Well that means of course if they were still alive, which I started to seriously doubt. She had not been asking for them once.

Weren't children supposed to ask for their mummy when ill or lost?

Lacking the experience when it came to families and yound children I decided that I was not the right person to find out what was going on inside her. – Apart from the fact that I had not yet met a child that would speak to me vountarily anyway. Children where scared of me. What a surprise!

"I have to go back to Spinners End as soon as I had a decent cup of tea." I stated, helping myself to said drink. Tobias nodded.

"Yes, but don't forget to rest for a while you won't do yourself or others a favour if you are wearing yourself out, even though something has to be done and desperately at that."

He reminded me once again, handing me a slice of toast and pushing the the jar of strawberry jam towards me.

"And you have to eat something, boy!"

The girls eyes were at me. My dad bent over to her and whispered something in her ear, she giggled, then suddenly stopped as if she had been slapped across the face.

"Sorry," she murmered.

The first words she had spoken since I first had seen her and they had to be an excuse. How sad. Dad seemed to agree.

"Hey, no need to be sorry, Look I can balance the spoon on my nose."

Even I had to grin broadly as my father took the sticky spoon out of the jam jar and stuck it onto his rather prominent nose. He looked remarkably silly and the little girl started to giggle again.

When I finally left I knew her name: Mary. And she was nine years old.

During my absence Spinners End had been searched. Well no surprise there. It meant at the same time that for the next few days this place was as safe as any place I could hide out.

_How handy that the ministry employed not exactly the brightest people to hunt down criminals_ I thought to myself

_And how unhandy that the same brainless people where after the Death Eaters…_my inner little devil piped up

Nobody was here anymore. They had searched every nook and cranny of my home and left, I was alone and secure. Or so I thought I had just finished the check up on my premises and returned to the living room when a voice spoke out of the shadowes:

"I thought you would return to here, Professor Snape."

The woman opposie of me was pretty – and intelligent.

"Miss Bartholdy!" I stated. "Yes, you have found me and now you can call the others and deliver me to Azkaban."

Better be blunt then playing, it would certainly confuse a Gryffindor like her. – But it didn't.

"Don't talk such rubbish. Minerva has sent me, not the ministry."

"Mi.. Minerva!"

Why would Minerva sent Sibylla Bartholdy to track me down? And why would they not deliver me to Azkaban? I had killed Albus Dumbledore.

"Of course Minerva, do you seriously think Professor Dumbledore would have left you alone just like that? There are but few people who know what has happened on top of that tower, one of them is dead anyway and there are just three more. You and me being two of them."

"Making Minerva the third – well and my father the fourth." I figured.

Sibylla Bartholdy nodded.

"The fewer people know the better."

I half agreed and half disagreed with that.

She strolled over to the battered settee, or more what was left of it and sat down. Her eyes looked a bit amused.

"You know, this is exactly how most people would think your home looks like, are you trying to live up to their expectations or is it coincidence?"

"Coincidence. I don't often entertain Aurors at my home so that it looks even more like a dump than usually."

I answered sarcastically.

" But to satisfy your question completely and spare me any future remarks: I barely live here during the year and it's good enough for the summer holidays when I do my research – the lab is the most lived in room in this house."

I looked around me again and added: "Was the most lived in room in this house…"

"Thought so. You won't coincedentally be in the position to offer me a cup of tea, will you?"

I shook my head.

"The milk is just busy ruining my carpet, the teabags are torn to pieces and soaking in the sink together with the washing powder, and the sugar turned out to be salt."

She grinned and reached into her pocket.

"Well how lucky that I brought at least the biscuits myself."

For a moment or two we just sat there nibbling at the ginger snaps drinking tap water out of some old metal mugs.

To be honest and it astonished myself quite a bit but under normal circumstances I really would have enjoyed her company. But I had no time to enjoy anything right now. There was too much work to do and being around me was not exactly a safe place to be.

"So what does Minerva suggest?"

"Apart from lying low? That you report to me about all the things you find out about You – Know – Who and his Horcruxes while it falls on me to gain Harry's trust and feed him with your information without raising his suspicion as to where I got it from."

"Piece of cake!" I remarked sarcastically.

Even if it would have been so easy to spy on Voldemort, after Dumbledores death Harry Potters trust towards anybody apart from his two sidekicks must be somewhere around minus ten. The boy was far to emotional for the task that lay before him.

If he had stopped and thougt about the whole thing just for a moment he would have realised that he could have easily been in my shoes that evening. He had promised exactly the same thing to the headmaster that I had promised: full and utter obedience towards his orders.

Well hopefully in time Miss Granger would get the idea, she was the most reliable of the golden trio when it came to brain matters – if the boys would listen to her was another matter though.

Sibylla Bartholdy shrugged.

"Never said it would be easy, did I? But it's the only way. I am fairly neutral with being no official member of the Order, so I'm not watched too closely by the dark side and on top of that I am trusted enough by our side, so I won't get watched too closely there either and can fairly easy contact you without raising suspicion."

"So you are actually in the Order? – I have always wondered."

She nodded swallowing the rest of her biscuit.

"Dumbledore asked me to join two years ago as soon as Voldemort returned. But due to me being pure blood we did not make it official if something had happened to you, I now would be in your shoes."

I shuddered.

She seemed to be so cold about it and it almost scared me.

Did she have the slightest idea what it meant to spy on the Dark Lord?

Well presumably not.

She was still very young and too innocent for her own good.

She reminded me faintly of Hermione Granger. A know – it – all with two blind eyes when it came to danger.

Well perhaps that was the reason why Dumbledore had chosen her to be my succsessor should something happen to me, else no sane person would agree on spying on the Dark Lord except they were in desperate need of redemption like I was.

"So, but now that I have found you and know you are well I have to go, Minerva is waiting and I have a few things to prepare. If you need a place to hide you can always come to my house. – Well or to Hogwarts. Ironically that will be the place where they would least expect you…"

I interrupted her: "Bad idea Potter has a map that shows every single person in the castle, he would find out."

"Right, good to know."

"But there is always the muggle world, isn't there, as long as I don't use magic close to home I can't be traced down by the ministry – well unless somebody comes along by accident and recognises me that is."

"Do you want me to rent the flat for you?"

I nodded and she got up, holdig out a card.

"Right I'll leave you now. This is where you will find me, muggle way as well as magical. And this…"

She placed a chain and pendant into my still open hand.

"… is for emergencies and when there is no other way to make contact. I'll find you with it and you can call me with it. Just touch it and think of me and I'll be there. I'll call as soon as I've found a place"

With that she left me.

I was still staring at the little silver chain in my hands. It was quite pretty. The pendant was a curled up serpent with emerald eyes. – What a good choice! What Death Eater would be suspicous seeing a snake around ones neck?

_Well, _I thoughtwith a bitter sweet sentiment,_ Dumbledore would have rather gone for a heart…_


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** Not mine, all JKR's!

**A/N:** Wow, I knew my story is bad, but I did not think it is so bad that nobody dares to post a review... :o(

Anyway, please, please, I am desperate for a review. I am sitting here all alone with my computer and my teddy bear, shedding tears because nobody talks to me. So please be nice, click onto that button at the end of this chapter and make a tiny review. Thank you!

Love Nic ;o)

**Chapter 4**

Tobias Snape was worried about his only son.

He had missed out on so much time together with him and it grieved him deeply.

He had often asked himself what would have been if Eileen had not cut him out of their lives.

He did love her at one time often asking himself in the process what had attracted him to the stern witch who rarely smiled and whom hardly anyone would describe as a beauty in the first place and the answer was easy enough, her being different and most of all brainy had stunned him first time he had seen her.

They had actually run into each other coincedentally and were tied up in a conversatin before either of them had been able to count to three. One thing lead to another and they ended up in a small muggle pub further down the road from the Leaky Cauldron from wich she had emerged just to literally bump into him, nose deep in a book, loaden with carrier bags with all sorts of weird stuff and talked and talked till last orders were called hours after the incedent. He still had to smile when he remembered the scowl on her young and very pale face when they collided and had asked her straightforward why she looked so sourly.

She had rolled her eyes in exasperation and answerd, her voice dripping with sarcasm:

"It's because of all these dunderheads who don't know how to use their eyes and think when they excuse themselves they actually have earned a smile just because they have been intelligent enough in the end to at least use their mouth for speaking."

He had laughed at that and she had scowled even more.

"Well if that doesn't make you smile, how about a drink in the pub over there?"

First Eileen Prince seemed to think he was teasing her, but then decided that if he was stupid enough to actually offer HER a drink she could just as well take the offer and have a nice end to her exausting shopping spee. To both their surprise they enjoyed each others company and none of them had the wish to part from one another but finaly the dreaded bell had rung and they had to leave the cosy, overstuffed pub.

He had offered to walk her home but she had declined – smiling. And it had stunned him. It was a Mona Lisa smile, mystic and deep and somehow sad. He let her go, having made out a date for the next weekend. He had been exstatic. Eileen Prince had been smiling at him! Him of all people, Forgotten was the fact that they had just met that very day.

Well, looking back now, Tobias Snape hardly thought it a good relationship even at these early stages, but they certainly had loved each other at one point, then they go married and Severus came along.

He had been so proud, so unbelieveably proud of his little baby boy that he had not seen the change in his wife at first. It was a change back to the sourly witch he had first encountered. He being a mere student spending all his time either at uni, learning at home or working at a small record store around the corner from their one bedroom flat earned little money, hardly had time for her anymore. The attention she craved had vanished from her life as suddenly as it had come into it.

One day she was gone.

Tobias had spet time to find her and he did, but she refused to talk to him or let him see his son, he was left alone. The divorce had been uncomplicated. She did not want his money, even though he was tempted to force her to take it, as now he had finished his studies, working as a paedeatrian in a hospital and earning fairly well.

Sometimes he felt guilty at leaving her behind quite easily but what else could he do?

Eventually he had remarried.

Debby had been the exact opposite of Eileen. She was always smiling, easy to please and in every way better suited to him. He was happy and hoped Eileen would move on just as well as he had. Little did he know what really happened.

How could he forsee that she would poisen is son against him, that she would fill Severus with so much hate and disregard?

When he got attacked some eighteen years ago by some hooded and masked figures he now knew to be Death Eaters his past had finally caught up with him and he understood now that Eileen had meant when she had claimed: to be a real witch. The figures had been closing in on him, wands drawn and it had been clear that neither of them harboured any friendly feelings for him. Then one tall, very upright figure had stepped forward and claimed him his. This figure had lead him into the small living room where Debby was cowering next to the couch.

"Do you know who I am?" a voice sneered. The voice of a young man.

Tobias had shaken his head and the man in front of him had lowered his hood and had taken off his masked.

"I think you should see, FATHER, who the one is that will bring you over to the other world."

"Severus!"

The young man had been startled at his fathers immediate outcry, obviously not expecting, that the man in front would take the hint and recognise him as his son. But he had. Even if he had not called him father, Tobias would have known who was standing in front of him. Severus looked so much like him that he had the feeling of staring back at his younger self. He even had to smile that even though Severus positively looked like him, the scowl on his pale face was clearly his mothers mark.

"So you do know!" his son hissed.

"How could I forget you?"

Suddenly Tobias had felt as if somebody was invading his mind, pictures of him and baby – Severus appeared followed by other pictures from the time when he had graduated, pictures when he was desperately searching for his wife and son, more pictures from the divorce and what happened after that. The boy finally lowered his wand, turned around and walked out of the house his head bowed as if ashamed.

When they met again half a year later under the guidance of one Albus Dumbledore they finally managed to talk like adults and from that time on they were friends. Something he had wished to be with his son from the day he was born.

Tobias leaving the realm of his memories looked absentmindedly over at Mary who sat in one of the comfy armchairs in front of the fireplace reading a book about a girl living on a farm in Scotland. She had a brown and white pony she had just informed him, her eyes lighting up at that piece of information.

"So you like ponies then?" Tobias had asked and she had eagerly nodded.

He had to admit Mary had come a long way in just a few hours but he was worried nonetheless. Not once had she mentioned her parents and it seemed as if it did not even concern her where she was actually coming from, that she had nobody in the world apart from him, who had to be considered a stranger. He once and for all forced his thoughts away from Eileen and Severus and to his little patient.

"Have you ever ridden a pony then?" he enquired.

She sadly shook her head.

"No, I was not allowed to."

"Who did not allow it? That was not very nice of the person, was it?"

"No it wasn't. But Mrs. Dumphries is never very nice."

He was tempted to ask more questions but she had got back to reading and so Tobias scribbled the name "Dumphries" onto the the rim of his paper, lying next to him on the couch table and start following the lead as soon as Mary was in bed.

When he tucked her in she seemed more anxious all out of a sudden. She clung to him as if her life depeded on him.

"Will they come again?"

Tobias froze. So she had not forgotten about yesterday.

"Will they take me away like they have done with mum and dad?"

"No – one will find you here, love." He assured her, being himself far from sure about his promise and wondering at the same time what on earth had happened with her parents.

"Good, because I am really scared of these Dementors."

Tobias Snape did not believe his ears. She had been attacked by Deat eaters, not Dementors. –"Dementors" she had said! But Dementors did not belong into the muggle world. They were magical creatures, even though most foul ones from what he understood. This little girl was a witch. He had to contact someone from the magical world, but how?

He had just returned to his living room, when someone knocked at the front door. He opened and looked into the face of a quite pretty and very determined looking woman around thirty.

"Doctor Snape?" She offered him her hand and he shook it surprised. It was past ten at night and he had never seen this woman in his life.

"My name is Sibylla Bartholdy." She did not smile at him but looked worried and sad as if something was bothering her immensely. She did not make any other amends to being polite but got straight to the point:

"Doctor Snape, the aurorshave just raided the house at Spinners End again and I am afraidSeverus did not manage to escape them. I am very sorry, just at this moment he is on his way to Azkaban."


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** None of the characters belong to me apart from Sibylla and Mary. Everything else is owned by JKR.

**A/N:** As ususally reviews are greatly appreciated. I've changed the profile so nobody needs to log in anymore to do so. – Thank you very much for pointing it out Microfatcat!

**Return to Innocence**

**Chapter 5**

She did not feel to good about leaving him at Spinners End, but then again, she probably would not have felt good leaving him behind anywere.

Sibylla Bartholdy stuck to her promise. As soon as she had left his house she had quickly apparated to her cottage and changed into some plain but fairly elegant muggle clothing and was already on her way to find a suiteable flat for Snape somewhere in the middle of muggle London.

It was not especially difficult to find a place. She looked trustworthy enough for any estate agent to be shown around without too many questions being asked and on top of that she had the neccessary cash.

The Bartholdy Family was by no means poor.

So just a few hours after she had set off for her task she had signed a contract and agreed to collect the keys the next day early in the morning.

Admittedly it was a very prim looking house close to where she knew Harry Potter had grown up in Little Whinging.

And it was not exacly in the middle of London.

But still it was as annonymous as could be.

Nobody in their right minds would ever suspect Severus Snape in place like this:

Short cut front lawn, well kept flower beds with the muggle version of a garden gnome strategically placed under a yellow blooming rose bush. The shiny white plastic front door with it's gleaming brass doorhandle was almost blinding in the bright afternoon sun and she thought about how uninviting it actually looked.

The entrance area had the most horrible carpet she could have ever immagined in her life and was a complete mismatch to the bright green wallpaper printed with a Fleur-de-Lys pattern in a shimmering gold tone.

Said carpet was actually a bright shade of pink with a slightly darker rose pattern, roses that were a foot across and surrounded by leaves that belonged to any plant but a rose.

The only explanation as to why a person had chosen this carpet and these wallpapers was that he or she had been blind.

The master bedroom upstairs was, to be quite frank, no better, just the colour scheme was different.

With its baby blue rose patterned carpet and curtains and the white plastic laminated furniture lined with gold she wondered how muggles managed to still produce children. If this room was no turn off, then certainly the matching nightwear.

She giggled at the thought as pictures of muggle women came to her mind wearing curlers and flowery night dresses and muggle men in stripey pyjamas.

As tasteless as this place might be, she still had to call it a complete success.

This was certaily no place, bright and colourful as it was, were one would imagine the darkness loving potions master.

Well, or rather former potions master, she corrected herself.

Severus Snape and this house was just as much of a mismatch than the green wallpaper and the pink carpet.

Now there was just one thing left to do, reporting to Minerva.

Hogwarts was packed with mourners who had arrived from all over the country to prepare for Dumbledores funeral. In fact there seemed to be more adults walkig around its halls than students and it did not seem right.

She had passed through the boar guarded gates walked up the hill and was now approaching the vast oak front doors of her old school.

The castle was humming like a bee hive, but it was not a friendly hum, it was a hum of despair and sadness. People everywhere were crying and wiping their eyes.

The pure amount of grieving people brought back tears into her own eyes.

Meandering through the mass of people lingering around in the entrance hall she made her way up the staircase. To her surprise it did not move one inch as she had anticipated but stayed still as if mourning along the people that where walking it.

The pictures along the walls were no better. Some talked to one another in lowered voices and occasionally the one or other portrait would wipe their eyes.

If a castle could be mourning through and through it certaily was Hogwarts.

The atmosphere was close to being unbeareable.

She severly hoped it would not last, life had to go on and for sure Albus would not have wanted anybody to be sad about his death and if then certainly not for long.

Sibylla sighed.

A war had to be fought on top of everything that had happened two nights ago.

This was not the end of Albus Dumbledore, this was the beginning of a war!

A bitter, desperate and cruel war.

When she finally turned into the corridor leading to the gargoyle guarding the office that had once been Albus Dumbledores she ran into Nymphadora Tonks who had just entered the same corridor but coming from another direction.

"Sibylla!" a fairly dishevelled Tonks exclaimed surprised. Her hair was a, considering the situation, quite unsuiteable shade of pink.

"What are you doing here?"

"Visiting Minerva." She replied briskly.

What else was she supposed to say to the auror? It was the plain truth and she could hardly tell Tonks that she and Minerva were busy manipulating their effords of finding Severus Snape.

"Do you think this is the right time?" Kingsley Shacklebolds voice asked her.

He had just enetered the corridor behind Sibylla without her realising it.

Questioningly she raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean with 'right time'?"

"I mean Minerva and Albus have been very close friends and he has died not even two days ago."

"Well, she has asked me to come and see her. Do you have any news on Snape?"

Another auror joined them looking as if he had not slept for a few days closely followed by Alastor Moody himself, his magical eye staring at her, presumably searching for hidden weapons or the like.

Obviously she had stumbled into an aurors meeting with the new headmistress of Hogwarts.

"Sorry Bylla, we can't tell you anything." Mad – Eye Moody grunted before Kingsley could answer her.

Leaving her in the drafty corridor the small group descended towards the gargoyle gave the password and spiralled upstairs and out of sight.

Sibylla was not sure if she should take the meeting as a good sign or a bad one.

What if they had found Snape?

They had had enough time to search several places over again since she had left Spinners End this morning. At the time she did not think they would go looking up the same places so short after they actually had searched them thoroughly but knowing that Moody who had originally retired as an auror years ago was apparently leading the search for Albus' supposed murderer she felt not so sure about that anymore.

Moody did not care about ministry guide lines and was on top of that much to experienced to not consider that the villain might return to his home after it had been searched.

Nervously she started to walk up and down the corridor feeling more and more uncomfortable with every passing minute. After little more than half an hour and with no end to the meeting in sight she strode down the stairs and back into the entrance hall, now deserted as everybody sat down for dinner. It was then, while on her way outside to catch some fresh air that she felt the chain around her neck burn.

Snape was having difficulties!

As fast as she could she made her way down the stone steps, back towards the gates and off the Hogwarts grounds from where she could apparate.

Breathless she concentrated on her task and a split second later she felt the prominent tuck around her navel disappearing from the path she had just run along and reappearing in the lonely run down street of Spinners End.

She raced towards the entrance door that was wide open and entered, worried about what she might find inside.

Severus Snape was gone.

His wand lay forlorn on the battered side table they had sat on earlier this day drinking tea.

She picked it up and put it into her pocket.

In all the chaos the aurors had left she could not detect any signs of struggle. Wandering around the devastated place it was hard to see what had happened but then she saw it, or rather she did not see it.

There had been a small picture in a silver frame showing his mother that was now gone, and a cassette containing a bit of money.

The cupboard to his potions ingredients was open as well and was missing a few jars – funnily enough exactly the ones which would have held the more precious ingredients such as unicorn hair, boomslang skin and dragon blood.

Asphodel, buckweed and other very common stuff was still there.

Severus Snape had been burgled and in the process had been caught.That was just a pathetically stupid situation.

Damn!

Who could have done this? Certainly no muggles. They could never have disarmed Snape, unless he had been careless enough to simply leave the wand where she had found it.

But that was more than unlikely.

Severus Snape was a careful man. He would have his wand at the ready with the first squeak of a floorboard and not just leave it lying around somewhere where he could not reach it in time to defend himself.

And no Muggle would have taken such a thing as potions ingredients, shescolded herself for not seeing the obvious.

It had to be a wizzard or witch then.

But who?

She did not need to think long when she spotted the answer on the kitchen sideboard.

Hastily written into the spilt flour was the word "DUNG".

Of course, Mundungus Fletcher!

Mundungus Fletcher was not just a low life of wizzard society, he was a member of the Order of the Phoenix as well and therefore quite informed about what was going on around him.

For him it must have been the chance of his life, well one of them anyway, when he had heard that there had been a search at Spinners End.

Who would miss a few things out of a place that had been trashed by aurors shortly before?

As said low life, Mundungus had to be quick as well and by God he could react within the blink of an eye if he had to. Still, Sibylla was sure it had been pure luck on his side because she knew Severus' duelling skills where famous as well.

With her head hanging low she made her way back to Hogwarts.

She needed to find out what had become of Severus Snape and if indeed he had been caught by "Dung" Fletcher, she was sure that he had handed him over to the aurors and taken the 1500 Galleons that were on Snapes head.

Once again having apparated she made her way up towards the castle and her qeustions were answered sooner than she had anticipated.

"…I know, but for him to hide in his own house…"

"…they have been quite quick, did not think they would catch him that soon…"

"…thought Snape would be cleverer than to get caught by that old thug…"

"…I'm relieved they got him! Bloody murderer!"

Everybody seemed to chat at the same time. The pictures where bustling around just as much as the people assembled in the entrance hall, the corridors and the stairs.

She did not stop when Filius Flittwick came towards her a look of relief on his good natured face telling her that "Dumbledores killer" had been caught and all was well again now, but instead marched straight up the staircase that was now moving again and right towards the gargoyle once more.

She literally yelled the pass word: "Ginger Newts!" a reminder of the late headmaster, and stormed up the winding staircase. She had to pull herself together to not just walk into the room, but her knock was far more forceful than usually.

"Come in!"

Minerva sounded even more defeated then she had the day before and there was no doubt, that she already had heard the news.

The two women looked at each other the neither one knowing what to say.

How could they fail so miserably with the first task they had been set?

It was Minerva McGonnegall who finally spoke before the silence grew too uncomfortable to bear.

"There has been an aurors meeting here this afternoon, but I understand you know that already, don't you?"

Sibylla nodded curtly.

"It was about half an hour into the meeting when Mundungus called via floo.

Being a member of the Order he has access to the headmasters office at any time in case he has any news – just like you can report at any time, day or night.

He had broken into Severus' house and found him there. Kingsley and Moody left immediately to arrest Severus. He is being held at the ministery at the moment but will be transferred to Azkaban tomorrow at dawn."

The old witch spoke without emotion that showed clearly that she was feeling more than she could currently deal with.

"So if it weren't for this thieving little scoundrell, Severus would still be free and tomorrow morning move into his new dwelling instead of going to Azkaban!"

Sibylla shouted at nobody in particular, her hands clenched into fists. Her former teacher nodded.

"Yes, my dear."

"But there must be a way to get him out of there!"

There was little doubt as to what would happen to Severus Snape when he finally was in Azkaban but neither witch wanted to think about that.

As always when she had to do some serious thinking and was too worked up to get her thoughts straight, Sibylla started to pace up and down the room, brows furrowed.

There was but one way to get Severus free and she knew it. She looked at her former teacher and saw that the two of them had the same thought.

Quietly saying good night to each other the younger woman left the room and the school grounds once more, ignoring the concerned looks of her mentor.

There were two things she had to do now.

One was telling Severus' father, the other she did not want to think of quite yet.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** Once again not mine. All JKR's!

**A/N I:**Hopeyou still enjoy this story. A tiny little review would be greatly appreciated, honestly. Is it really that hard to press the button at the bottom of this story and type in a few words? Come on, I know you can do it! Thank you.

**N/N II: **And yes, I know , Snape seems a bit outof character in the first bitof this chapter, but please remember, it is his very private point of view, he would never tell anybody that... -well apart from me, obviously ;o)

**Return to Innocence **

**Chapter 6**

I sat back on my very much ruined sofa and sighed.

Sibylla had gone and now I felt weirdly lost without her. I've never been a man that needed somebody else around, was rather grateful when left alone to be true, but to find that actually some people still were on my side and wanted to help me was quite touching. Staring at the trashed room around me I sighed once more filled up the battered old metal mug once again with water by simply waving my wand over it and drank the cool liquid letting my mind wander a bit:

Sibylla! – How weird that it was her Minerva had called for help. I still remembered her when she had been in school. Well, when she had been in her last year, to be precise.

It had been my first year as a teacher and she was the Miss Granger of her time even though her nose was not quite that often buried in a book.

Still, know – it – all and chatty she always had an answer to my questions. I grimassed a little when I remembered that she always made me feel a little insecure with her boldness. Insufferable Gryffindors!

I still had been young, just twenty three years old and she was merely five years younger and unfortunately quite pretty at that.

If I ever had a crush on a student, than it certainly must have been on Sibylla Bartholdy with her pretty heart shaped face, her long dark curly hair she always wore with so much indifference as to how it looked, sometimes held up by a pencil, sometimes by a plain band that looked as if it originally had been intended to tie parcels to an owls leg, though most of the time open and flying wild around her head.

It had quite an amazing colour as well. The colour of aged sherry glowing in the candlelight. Her eyes were dark, almost as dark as mine but still blue and full of soul, rimmed with astonishingly log lashes and graced by marquant brows.

_And her lips looked unbelievingly kisseable... _

At this thought I had to stop myself. I absolutely did not like the direction my thoughts where heading. Not just where these thoughs moraly quite improper and uncalled for, but at the moment there where so many more pressing matters that I rather should occupy myself with other things.

Things like replacing my security wards.

Things like packing a few belongings.

Things like informing my father about Minervas plan so he needn't worry.

Things like finding out where Mary came from and how to return her to her parents given the chance they where still alive.

Getting up from my not at all comfortable sofa I first took care of the wards and then managed after a ten minute search to locate a battered old leather bag that I did not even remembered to have owned.

_If she is already looking for a place for me to stay? _

Once again I told myself not to think of her if I were to stay safe. The least thing I could aford was falling for an ex – student of mine who was on top of that very busy trying to help me.

_It is you being grateful towards her for believig in you and helping you and absolutely nothing more!_

I hammered into my head but it did not work. Sure I was grateful that she was helping me, but what about her good looks? That was Severus Snape the man talking, not Severus Snape the escapee.

_Besides, you don't think of Minerva as being kisseable right now and she is helping you, too._

Stuffing a couple of clean socks I had just found on the second step of the staircase into my bag I ascended further up into the bedroom, grabbing a couple of clothes here and a few necessities there and squeezed it into the rather small bag till it was so crammed it would not even hold a single toothpick more.

I looked at the demolished clock that amazingly was still working behind it's broken glass and found that I had not even needed fifteen minutes to gather my things together. That was not exactly cheering me up.

Well I could go to my father and talk to him, but it being still very early and him having his own surgery I thought the better of it. Between his little patients and Mary he certainly was too busy at the moment. Besides, later the news would be just as welcome as right now.

Putting the overflowing bag down onto the floor next to a halfway intact armchair I opted for some studies of my own. I managed to get into my workshop without stumbling over broken jars, stirrers and the odd cauldron and found that what I was looking for, was miraculously in one piece. – "A study in potions" by Dulcea Solanum. Actually it wasn't said book I was looking for, I could not care less for this tomb as Dulcea Solanum was one of the worst Potions Mistresses ever to walk the earth, but I had used it's cover to hide my very own notes. At one point last year Wormtail had become so annoyingly nosy that I thought it necessary to do so. It were studies Dumbledore had asked me for.

Poor old Albus!

I went back to the armchair where I had left my bag and sat down, curling up as comfortably as was possible and started to get on with the subject of "Counter Curse Potions".

This was the distraction I needed.

Just after five minutes my mind was completely embraced by my beloved potions. Even if somebody would enter the room, I perhaps would not even notice. I carried on for some hours that seemed like mere minutes to me, totally occupied in the things I had written down a couple of months ago, eager to reconstruct everything I had achieved till then. It would take some time though to get back to the point I had been before fleeing Hogwarts. The other half of my notes was safe and sound at the castle and beyond my reach, hidden as "Fungi Virtue" by Phyllida Spore, same old witch that had graced us with her school book "One thousand magical herbs and fungi", well she was in a different league than Ms. Solanum. The next time I looked up from my studies it was because my room started to get dark. Rain clouds had come and it being already late in the afternoon, the day had decided to call it – a day.

I groand as my back started aching from being crouched over a book all day, and suddenly I felt weary and overly sensitive to everything that was around me, now that I had stopped reading.

There, it almost is, as if there is somebody behind me… 

I scolded myself for being so silly. Who would and thinking of it could with the wards up come here and sneak in like that? Certainly not any aurors, they loved to cause as much havoc and noise as possible, even though they certainly would not have ay difficulties in breaking my alarm system.

My "fellow" Death Eaters would have scared me out of my studies as soon as they entered the house instead of still sneaking about. Subtlety was not exactly their strong point.

Sibylla? - Certainly not, she would announce her arrival immediately, perhaps even greet me from the hallway.

With that I ran out of possibilities.

So why did I still worry?

Just becaue I had the feeling there was somebody behi…

A floorboard squeaked.

There WAS somebody behind me!

I grabed my wand and turned around and towards the door leading to the kitchen, but too late. Whoever it was had entered the room and stopped dead in his tracks wand aiming at me.

A nano – second later I was knocked out by a full body bind.

Mundungus Fletcher had, of course, seized the moment and broken into my house.

He was good at breaking wards. Well, he had to, if he wanted to stay in business. And he was particularely good if he knew the wards that were placed. He always had his eyes and ears open to make his dodgy business easier, it was a miracle he did not break into houses more often.

It was easy of course to guess where he'd gotten the info from this time, he was in the Order of the Phoenix, somebody might have let it slip. Tonks presumably, she was quite a gossip.

Dung grinned menacingly at my petrified body. A feature that suited his normally rather friendly and mischievieously looking face not at all well.

"Oh, there I've got the fucking murderer!"

He kicked me into my private parts. Stars flared up in front of my eyes. But I knew this was just the "gentle" beginning.

"Thought you can escape after having killed Dumbledore, did you?"

Another kick this time into my stomach. I groaned.

_The usually so good natured though good for nothing Mundungus had it in it, who would have thought?_ I thought to myself in an attempt to be ironic.

For obvious reasons it did not work as another kick hit me, this time into my side closely followed by a whole tirade of kicks into exact the same spot. After a few minutes of this I could feel my spleen rupture under the force of one particularely nasty hit.

I started to doubt that I would make it out alive here. What had started as a day full of hopes now ended as a nightmare. Well, not that I deserved any better. I had killed Dumbledore.

I was just as angry with myself as the man in front of me was angry at me.

Again his boots collided with my body, this time he kicked my head in, blood streamed from my left temple.

"Enjoying it Snape?" Dung sneered,

He had stopped kicking me.

"You know I should finish you off, would make a hero out of me, would it, but to be honest I think I rather take the money the ministry has on your head than getting my hands dirty with your filthy blood."

He bent over and grabbed the book I had been studying.

"Leave that book you…!" I growled at him voice thick with pain and still not able to move a muscle.

Knowing Mundungus Fletcher he would make good use of the tomb – for him, meaning sell it to the next person offering him a halfway decent amount for it. I could not let that happen. What if it fell into the wrong hands?

But what could I actually do to prevent Mundungus from selling it?

The question answered itself as he looked a the dusty cover and sneered. A hint of disappointment crossed his face and vanished quickly. It was by no means a rare book , well it was, but a glance at the cover would not tell him that, and worth almost nothing on the black market.

"It's a fucking Potions Book! Missing your old job that much you had to stick your over large nose into a potions book again?" He closed it and flung it, to my utter relief and surprise across the whole of the room where it disappeared behind the remains of a small sideboard that lay toppled over on its front, the bottles that had been standing upon it smashed to smithereens all over the floor glittering almost magically in the faint light of the last rays of the sun oozing in through a gap of the heavily curtained window.

I could feel the body bind lift now. I tried to move but pain hindered me. My ruptured spleen made it impossible for me to sit up. The pain was unbeareable. Mundungus sensed it and grinned maliciously.

"Come on, sit up Snape!" he ordered me and dragged me into an upright position. I had to scream out.

"Are we in pain?" He took hold of my arms, and dragged me onto my feet. "Well I don't give a shit, you murderer!" He shoved me across the room towards the kitchen. I stumbled, feeling his wand pointed at me, the worksurface in my shabby old kitchen I was flung against was the only thing that held me upright and then I saw it – flour. All over the workbench was flour. I shifted my weight carefully to the left and scribbled as fast as I could the word "DUNG" into the dusty surface.

"So, I'll bring you to the ministry then, you filthy traitor. Will bring me quite a bit of cash. I'll be rich, Snape – thanks to you!" He closed his arm around me and I could feel us apparate. After that I must have passed out,for the last thing I remember was the well known tuck in the pit of my stomach as we apparated and me touching the chain Sibylla had given to me.

_"Please!"_


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** Not mine as you all well know, all JKR's. 

**A/N: **Sorry for the long wait, I have been quite busy and it is not going to be any better in the next couple of weeks. Still I try to do my best to continue this story. Please read and review, at least then I know it is all worthwhile.

Love headless-nic

**Return to Innocence**

**Chapter 7**

I literally had to force myself to open my eyes and it cost a quite an effort. Every single part of my ody seemed to hurt and the blinding light that shone straight into my eyes did not help the slicghtest to make it any better on top of that it prevented me to see any more of my surroundings apart from distorted technicolour shadows. Voices were echoing through the room as well as a consistent tap, tap, tap of someone pacing around my bed in a circle. Even though the voices were barely more than a whisper it still seemed to be unnaturally noisy and it drove me insane.

"Can we interrogate him, yet?" one voice I reckognised as belonging to Kingsley Shacklebold enquired.

"Who actually cares?" Another voice I knew: Rufus Scrimgeour, the Minister for Magic.

Whoever had been walking around the room had stopped and I thanked God for the welcome silence it brought. But, of course, it was not to be for very long. The steps came closer, louder then ever before and stopped in front of me. All I could make out was someone wearing brght pink robes. I squeezed my eyes shut again, not wanting to turn blind by so much brightness.

"Have I not told you all along, that this man should never have been a teacher at Hogwarts in the first place?" A sickly sweet, girlish voice asked rethorically.

Dolores Umbridge! – Of course wherever there was a fly trapped in a spiders net that big toad of a woman would never be far to share the "bounty" – well or rather somebody elses misfortune.

I saw her all to clear, burnt into my memory with her ever present clipbord and the determination to torture or ridicule everybody who was different, dared to have an oppinion not based on the ministry and most and for all did not suck up to her.

"However," murmured Scrimgeour, "it won't help us now to ponder about what we should have done in the past, it won't make Albus Dumbledore alive again. Poor man!"

"_Poor man, oh really!"_ I thought to myself, "_As if he had cared much about the ancient headmaster when he was still alive let alone help him in his mission."_

Still he was right, no _what if_ would bring Albus Dumbledore back, he was already cold and would soon be buried but never forgotten and all of it was my fault. Had I not been so unbelieveably stupid and agreed to the unbreakeable vow, nothing of this would have happened.

"Well, I for my part think we have waited long enough and we should start questioning him. He is awake, what else are we waiting for?" continued the Minister for Magic.

"I still think we should wait till a healer has seen him again and we can be sure he is all right." Countered Shacklebold.

"Mr. Shacklebold are you questioning your senior?" asked Umbridge in a voice that was supposed to be even more innocently girlish and so disgustingly sweet that I had the urge to vomit - so to speak, of course.

"No, I don't. But it won't do us any good if we cannot be hundered percent sure he is completely right in the head and not confused or even delirious. Mundungus Fletcher has worked him quite hard…"

"Serves him right!"

_No need to argue about that._

"Well Kingsley, I see your point and I agree. Go and find a healer and make it clear that we want him here as soon as humanly possible. I want that this man is taken care of and brought back to health in a nutshell so we can transport him to the ministry and interrogate him as it is fit for Death Eaters and Killers and none of this soft nonsense anymore because he is on deaths door or something along those lines."

Shacklebold left hurriedly and the uncomfortable silence was only broken by Umbridge, once again wandering around the room restlessly.

It was not long untill the auror returned but half a decade seemed to passbefore the door opened again and the healer finally arrived.

"Well, I take it he has gained concienceness again, or you surely would not have sent for me, would you?" enquired the healer sternly. "I have lots of patients to look after and I cannot make any exceptionswhen it comes toadministering their treatments, not even for you, Minister."

"He had his eyes open earlier and he seemed to follow our conversation."

In front of my inner eye I could see the healer raise his eyebrow questioninglybecause Scrimgeour continued a bit sheepish: "Well, when I spoke about what a nice person Albus Dumbeldore was he just screwed up his face, I mean as his killer he certainly would not agree to that now, would he? And then as he heard Dolores' voice he flinched, he certainly recognised her, she had once been his headm…."

"Yes, yes, all right. And now please leave the room so I can check him over."

The healer started to sound quite definitely impatiet, but I could also detect tiredness in his voice. Had he not already stated on how busy a man he was, it would have been clear by the sound of his voice.

"But…" Scrimgeour obviously had not intended to go and seemed about to start a discussion. Before he could even begin his first sentence he was interupted.

"No but! You may leave your auror though, in case you are worried about my safety, he can sit down over there in the corner and read the Daily Prophet while I tend to this patient, As long as this man is in my care he is a person to be treated as every other patient in this hospital, what you are going to do with him once he leaves here is your business, till then…"

"But…" this time it was Umbridges try, but she was silenced just as determined as the Minister had been. It safed me from one of my greatest nightmares to come true – having to let my pants down in front of Dolores "Toady" Umbridge – even if it was just for administering a salve to an injury close to my groin.

Reluctantly two people marched towards the door, it was opened and closed again and all that could be heared for a short while was the rustling of paper as Shacklebold turned the pages of his paper and the running of water as the healer washed his hands.

"Just tell me, if I can be of any help, Professor." Shacklebold offered and I was just about to answer slightly confused why he would want to help me and why he was calling me Professor when the healer answered briskly: "No need to, I'll manage quite well on my own. Mr. Snape open your eyes please, I know you are awake."

I blinked into the still very bright light and seeing how much it hurt me the healer dimmed it immediately with a flick of his wand. I now looked into the face of Professor Tarleton Bartholdy. I had known that Sibyllas father was a healer, he was quite a famous one at that, but the last thing I had heard about him was that he was actually training new healers instead of practising himself. But here he was on the one ward reserved for ministry use at St. Mungos, watching me unsmiling and yet not hostile in any kind of way, he rather seemed fairly indifferent.

The check up just lasted a few minutes and for the first time in my life I hoped I was far from being well.

"He is getting better quuickly," he announced to both me and Kingsley Shacklebold, "though he should not be exhausted in any kind of way. He had quite some severe injuries to the head that even magic cannot heal in a few days and his spleen is still in a quite fragile state, if he moves to much it might just as well rupture again and with that I think you've got your answer if you can take him with you or not."

"So we can take him then?" the auror asked, though not as keen as Scrimgeour would have done.

"No. He might get better quickly but he was in quite a state when he arrived here. He needs rest and I would prefer it, if he was left alone for the time being. He might be a murderer but as long as he is in my care he is a human being and treated as such. So take your chair and finish your reading in front of this door, please. I'll be out of here in a minute there s just one more thing I have to take care of and I think Mr. Snape would not want to have any spectators. No worries, he is in no position to harm me. Thank you!"

Kingsley Shacklebold shrugged and made his way towards the door, the look he gave me was neither angry nor hostile, just questioning. Did he suspect something? Did he even know?

Well certainly not. Minerva and Sibylla would not risk it to lay my actions open not even before the Order of the Phoenix.

With an astonishing gentlness Tarleton Bartholdy administered the lotion to all my outer wounds and injuries. First the salve burned like fire but after a few seconds it was pure bliss, my limbs grew tired and I felt weirdly peaceful still all my senses were bright awake.

"So now that there is nobody listening in on our conversation I can give you this "Note", Mr. Snape:

_The way you've been given is the way you must take, _

_down to the sea where they kiss you awake, _

_there it will be that we take you from their grasp _

_where your longing has pondered till it won't 'longer last. _

_Is the price I pay too high? -_

_For my soul is the devils and no longer my. _

Well, to be honest Sibylla was always miserable at writing poetry but this is one of her worst attempts. Anyway, she'll have her reasons, as well as she'll have her reasons to ask me to look after you."

He looked at me inqusitive with his cold grey eyes that where so much like his daughters and then again so astonisingly different.

Other than my father who had grown more and more gentle and caring during his years of practising, this man had grown immune to the suffering around him yet he still cared. He kept his feelings inside, other than Sibylla who always wore her heart on her sleeve. He was stern, austere and just. A man you could trust with your life, a man, like Albus Dumbledore had been, who would not listen to prejudices and gossip, a man who treated everyone the same and who would always listen to someone in need and give advice.

I knew that the late headmaster had considered this man as a good friend. – And there was that friend taking care of the murderer of said Albus Dumbledore and not treating him any different than the rest of mankind if anything could make a man feel ashamed, this must be it.

When Tarleton Bartholdy was gone and I finally could close my eyes again without being impolite I thought about the weird poem he had given me. Even though quite confusing it did not take me too long to figure out what she was telling me and I did not like it one bit.

_The way you've been given is the way you must take, _

_Down to the sea where they kiss you awake _– Obviously she wanted me to go to Azkaban – it was where I was destined for, it was in the sea and the Demetors Kiss was awaiting me there

without any doubt.

_There it will be that we take you from their grasp,_

_Where your longing has pondered till it won't 'longer last_. – Again the referrence to Azkaban with its hopeless atmosphere – but then again, how would I be taken from the grasp of the Dementors, because that seemed to be what she was saying? And what did Sibylla mean with the last part of this verse?

_Is the price I pay too high? –_

_For my sould is the devils and no longer my._ – What came to my mind was something I did not dare to think. Surely Sibylla would never ever do this, or would she?

**A/N to explain a few things:** Somebody has been asking me if you can feel it when your spleen ruptures. Well no, not as you would feel it with external injuries, but, of course you do feel internal injuries, where about the pain is, and so on and it is fairly easy to count two and two together on what might be injured if you know a bit about anatomy and I reckon Snape does because in the first few chapters he recounts times when he's had other serious injuries. Apart from that, the spleen is a very likely organ to rupture during a fight, specially if kicked in the right place, so hence his conclusion. – Well and he was right…

Oh and in case anybody is wondering why Severus gets patched together when Azkaban is waiting for him and with that the Dementors Kiss – very easy – Scrimgeour needs him as an example after so many false arrests. – Short: Politics.

Yes, and I know, that the dementors are actually out of ministry control but that does not mean they don't appreciate a couple of fresh souls on their menu… I think despite their preference of Voldemort, they are actually on nobodies side but their own. Apart from that Scrimgeour might think that if he gives them something "yummie" he can persuade them back to his side…

One more thing, Microfatcat has pointed out to me, that xou cannot speak when under the full body bind. I have overseen that. - Oops! Well all I can say is sorry for messing up...


	9. Chapter 9

Author's note

Since by know pretty much everybody knows what happened at the end of Harry Potter and I was too slow writing my version, I'll leave this story unfinished. If anybody ever feels the need to continue, which I think is more than just doubtful, then you are welcome to do so. I might do another Harry Potter Story since I somehow do not want Severus Snape to be dead, but if it comes to that I will first complete the whole thing and then post it.

Love Nic


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